Don’t take away your kid’s games! Japanese mom shares her wisdom on how to deal with children gaming too-much

Kids spending too much time playing video games and on their computers is a concern many parents can relate to. In hopes of resolving this dilemma, parents often resort to limiting usage or even prohibiting use all together. However, one seasoned Japanese mother recommends a slightly different approach.

Summer vacation in Japan is only around a month long for most children. During that time, kids are often given summer homework and attend extracurricular activities. While children may want to spend their break playing games, some parents are concerned about how much time their children spend gaming. One Japanese mom decided to share her thoughts on this topic through a series of tweets.

Suminotiger, as she goes by on Twitter, seemingly captured the attention of many parents with her tweet “To parents who are worried about their children playing games all summer vacation: My 7th-grade third son, who has been deeply immersed in games like Fortnite and Apex Legends every day to the point of making a fuss that he won’t be able to carry on without his Nintendo Switch has now abandoned his Switch in the living room without charging it for a week.”

It seems that the mom’s Twitter thread has gained the interest of many parents of gamers, as the initial tweet currently has over four-thousand bookmarks. Twitter users raising game-enthusiasts appear to be taking notes. Suminotiger notes in a following tweet that she knows this doesn’t mean her son will never pick up the Switch again, but that she had experienced her older children suddenly getting over things they had been completely absorbed in as well. From this, she concludes that children tend to find tasks and ways to have fun at their own terms, so children being absorbed in a certain activity at the grade school level shouldn’t be a cause of great worry.

The mother’s words have resonated with some Twitter users, one user recalled their children suddenly growing out of their gaming-fever. “As they grew older, they gradually learned to balance gaming with other hobbies and studies (to some extent). Each person has their own personality, but surprisingly, letting them handle it on their own turned out to be fine.” Many people can probably relate to being crazy about something in their childhood only for the enthusiasm to naturally simmer-down.

The OP continues to share her experience by adding “I think it can become even worse if we try to forcefully stop them. It can make things tough for both the child and the parent. If there’s something in real-life that makes the child want to escape into games temporarily, then maybe it’s something they have to go through (my child has experienced that too).”

Gaming is definitely one of the many activities individuals can take to as a form of escapism. Players are able to tune-out of the world outside their game and immerse themselves in gameplay, temporarily forgetting their real-world issues. According to a scientific study which investigated the positive and negative outcomes of escapism through video games, some of the positive benefits individuals can experience from gaming to take a break from reality are: enjoyment, wishful thinking, fantasy, stress-coping, recreation, and achievement..

Although many users found the advice to have reflected some of their own experiences, other users weren’t so easily convinced, finding the mother’s views a bit idealistic. One user shared their experience of playing games to their heart’s content as a student. “I was too addicted to games and didn’t like school much, so I quit high school…I feel like it’s more effective to take children outside so that they acquire interest in other things.” Others expressed the concern that allowing children to play for as long as they want could lead to health issues in the future. One user stated “Yeah. An outgoing person will definitely be like this, but more introverted types will go on playing games forever and become NEETs (Related article).”

Another commented on the potential risks of the parenting style tweeting “Children with developmental disabilities, especially ADHD, and children with borderline intellectual functioning tend to be prone to dependence, so I think that letting video games lull them increases risk. If you try to take away the game from them later on they will act out, and it will be really difficult to handle.”

It seems as though there are many aspects to consider when trying to find a balance between being too controlling and allowing children too much freedom. According to Tomohiro Hoshi, the Head of School of Stanford Online High School, authoritarian styles of parenting such as taking away sources of enjoyment from children can be harmful. “Of course, it’s morally wrong to make threats, but scientifically it’s also bad for a child’s mind and performance, so it’s best to be careful and avoid it.” In addition, The University of Utah Health’s pediatrician, Dr. Cindy L. E. Gellner says that the “Most important thing as a parent is to be aware of what your child is doing while gaming and help reinforce positive behaviors and socialization without giving in to excessive gaming time and inappropriate content.” Allowing children to play their games with some limitations and monitoring seems to be the most common point that health professionals recommend for youths.

When it comes to the issue of raising children who love to play games a bit too much, it seems as though the majority of users agreed that simply taking the games away isn’t a productive (nor healthy) way to stop the behavior. Many parents, being fans of games themselves, could empathize with a child’s desire to enjoy them, some users reflecting on their own parents’ authoritarian parenting styles. Whether parents are more lenient or more strict when it comes to setting limitations, everyone just seems to want children to have a healthy relationship with games.